Sleep for me
by AITB
Summary: Appearently, sherlock needs John. What about john? yes, John needs sherlock. but who's want to have more? -Sleep for me, John.-
1. The city raindrop

Sleep for me

"It's rain, sherlock."

John said in low voice. Sherlock just looked at him in his sofa. John can read the word in Sherlock's eye, "So what?" he said like that using his eye. John smiled, even though he and John had a such bad bomber's firework, Sherlcok seems okey. He still get bored easily, and He still do some strange test.

Moriarty's work couldn't harm Sherlcok's brain.  
Actually, his work make Sherlock more a Sociopath and brilliant. He looks like so lifeful nowadays. Mycroft calls that kind of lifeful is the bravery of the sociopath.

That day, after he saw Sherlock's another brand-new toy 'To find the Moriarty', He told something curious to sherlock.

'As ever, I'm concerned about you, sherlock.'

'And I don't need that concern, Mycroft.'

'oh, yes, apparently.'

'Then, go.'

Sherlock was determined not to talk with him, but Always Mycroft didn't care, He kept talking.

'You must be careful more sherlock.'

Sherlcok turned around and showed his back to Mycroft, and He stared into John, Surprisingly! John couldn't move that staring. He looked at himself on John's eyes.

'Even though Sociopath feels nothing, Human can't live without their heart. can you, sherlock?'

That is the last word coming from Mycroft's mouse. Well, Mycroft had gone for days. The word seems to be in sherlock's brain for days. Because, nowadays, Sherlock has a strange ,but not hateful to John, habit which is to check John's location by texting. like, 'Where are you? SH' or 'Tell me where you are. SH'

Except for those thing. Sherlock is okey and Perfectly fine as John feels.

but not John.

That rain.

felling raindrop all over the place, John couldn't stop watching them fell.  
He gazes at the window in silence. He is gazing at the raindrop in city rain. The 'City' raindrop, which always make him feel wonder, is the most well-appeared 21st human to John.

Coming from pellucid water, but not pure in the end.

That is the city raindrop in John's heart. Before coming from the genuineness, Does they know that they will be turned into miserable one? and To the end, Their Sacrifice which wants to make world more beautiful was meant to be nothing? By human being?

Well, He can't know the answer. and John didn't want to know the answer. that remains same all of his life.

'Tik Tok'

John counts the raindrop in his heart. The screaming sounds of water, Tik Tok, that is everywhere to John.

Nowadays, John has started recorrecting his thought about raindrop. That raindrop, make him stay in pain. That night, In that Great game, The waterdrop was all of his sight.

John saw,

Explosion,  
Laughing voice, coming from the cruel bloody doll

cold waterdrop,  
and warm hands

and at last,

He saw, the red raindrop, the hotter one but louder one, was felling on his face,

In there, Sherlock was?.

"John."

Sherlock's voice make him stop thinking under truth of that night. That Truth take away sleep from John. but John just stopped. Deep down his heart, He know he's not ready to know the truth. Sherlock say again.

"There is no raindrop."

John stare the window again. and Like he said, Grey sky say hello to John.

"Yes, There is no raindrop."

and There is the painful raindrop, it still live in there, aren't you, Johny boy?

Moriarty Still hunt sherlock's heart.


	2. Insomnia

2. Insomnia

These days, The John's Blog have sunk to the quietude. They stopped going forward after that night. That blog, which remains stillness, has something in common with John.

John lost the way which allow him to fell into a peaceful slumber. and He lost his days too, The days means nothing to John. He just keep staring outside the window, to find the raindrop. Sometimes, He wants to feel that raindrop with cold hands. but He never tried, He is acting like if he touched that raindrop, they could be dead because of him.

However, he didn't say nothing about this problems to Sherlock. but he already knew that issue. That's the easy to find out. John had a vacation from his work, that doesn't fit on his doctor's heart. All the time, Even though Sherlock drag him into the cruel deduction, John is still in morality. He wanted to help the toy, which Sherlock and Moriarty played with, and to have a sorrow for them. but Not lost in there, John usually get out and have a faith in sherlock who don't care that kinds of feelings.

Now, all that nature of John is gone now. He has been lost in sorrow. he didn't show off, but Sherlock can 'FEEL' it. He just can. The first men who develop the word 'Sociopath' is dull. There is no never-changing things in this ever-changing world. And that's the why Sociopath can feel something. They just need the trigger to start to feel. Like, Making baby's first smiling is mother's smiling coming from their own heart.

To Sherlock, That night, That cold night, is the trigger.

Although he decided to give up his life for sherlock, he do smiled for him, and say 'It's okey, sherlock' to The Sociopath. John chose, not to blame that series of misfortunes on Sherlock, but to embrace Sherlock's madness and die with it in that night.

and, The last feeling sherlock could show on John face was 'relieved'. How could he feel relieved in that moment? Sherlock drew John's mind work to understand it!

In swimming pool, there were only two people in same line against those who wanted to see their death. And there was no way to get out. Sherlock had the gun, but John had the bomber's coat.

Gun and the bomber's coat,  
Two weapon.

but Using Gun, They couldn't win because The gun needed more fire to eat them all. Using Bomber's coat was same. It had to be something different in this situation, sherlock thought.

At that time, Sherlock saw John's hands, bloody but strongly hold the bomber's coat, like that was the only thing which could save Sherlock. It went right into his head.

The Gun and The bomber's coat.  
What if using one by one, Sherlock with the gun pull the trigger to John, and John with the bomber's coat jump into the water?

Might, one goes into stillness, The other can survive.

Sherlock thought,

That is the 'Love', so called in mate.

That is the 'Sacrifiece', so called in white-globe.

That is the 'Obsession', making Sherlock in pain.

and, That is the 'John', who is willing to offering anything for Sherlock.  
Sherlock finally beat his nature, in darkness side of a sociopath it kept talking 'Don't be stupid, freak. you can run away from this.' but he beat that! He stretched his hand for John to hid him from the mad doll.

and that paid off very well. Sherlock thought he saved John.  
He saved his heart. But It wasn't, isn't at all.

John get hurted after that. He is definitely in pain. John's face stained with grey and eyes filled with the raindrop tells that. Yes, Sherlock know the issue. but He just don't know how to deal with. Strange, He never met that kinds of problem. The problem has the answer all the time, and Solving that issue was good enough to make him on fire. He always enjoyed it. and Don't want to be end the pleasure.

But This issue, coming from his John, His heart, makes the noise and odd feelings to Sherlock. He just want to go over this. Make Him sleep. he's really concerned John, too much.

However, A Sociopath feel nothing, well, Now Sherlock know how to feel, but he still doesn't know how to show it. That is why he couldn't tell that issue straightforward to John. Instead of showing his feeling to his John, He only said to break John's rain in London where it rains all the time.

"There is no raindrop, John."

To that sentence, John just make fake smile to get out of Sherlock, get out of all this. The problem still remain in there. Sherlock have to find the answer. The Heart which start beating in red suggest that Sherlock move quickly. If he doesn't move as fast as he can, The John, The heart of Sociopath will die and They always be ready to die.

Something with that night, that dark swimming pools, intensifies the stillness of John, like that raindrop fallen down to John's heart.

Sherlock see his heart near by the window. In grey sky, It looks like the frail glimmer. Sherlock needs to move quickly.

John still lost his sleep in the night.

- 


	3. The freak

John looked at the window. like yesterday, The red-yellow sky decorates London. Recently, The London, city of rain, has no rain. This paradox appears several times in this month.

The red-yellow sky.

'The color of war is up there. Sherlock.'

John muttered to himself. and He know. That's just the red-yellow sky, not the color of war. This thought comes from his mind because, now, John think he is among the war. Stupid illusion.

However,  
John, the John, hates his war.

Despite hate, John has been hooked on the Thrill which they mabe. He really loves it. Although he got out of the Afghanistan, He couldn't forget thrill, so He chose The sherlock, The Thrill one. John walked into the war voluntarily.

To John, Sherlock was the perfect thrill. He is the thrill one. and, as you know, He has another pretty name, so-called Sociopath. That name is lovely cover for John to hide his taste. but that have been made misunderstanding to everyone.

A Genius needs audience.

Sherlock said like that, back time. In that words, People might see a brilliant Sherlock. They make one tiny idea.

'Sherlock needs John.'

They're wrong. John laughed. That cannot be the true idea. yes, Never ever be the truth.

Actually, John needs the Sherlock, in the beginning.

The Thirll Sherlock can make and The Genius Sherlock had,

John really want to have it, the needed one.

John don't want to loose his special food. It had been John's heart for long time. Without it, Without the war, John would rather choose death.

He did thought like that. Until that day.

"Now, You call your nightmare of war again. John, Please confess. I really insist. you can't hold it to the end."

After that day, John has been suffered insomnia. so he came to the doctor to solve it, but She had the same answer like the old days.

Tell some, or Write your journal.  
And, Not your old days, you have a flatmate who you can trust. So why don't you tell that issue to him?

To Your mate, to your flat mate Sherlock, speak it out.

It is her prescription.

Mycroft is right about her. She isn't good doctor, She is wrong again.

John do remember dark swimming pool. He can't let it go.  
In there, Moriarty didn't stop smiling, John and Sherlock had no chance to escape of their death.

John felt when sherlock saw the bomb, unconsiously he looked at John and bomb in turn.

Sherlock and John had no chance to escape of this pool, but one of them, The one person had a chance to go on.

And Sherlock consider John the one. but, Like John thought, He can't live without his thrill.

He just can't.

He didn't want to loose his thirll anymore. John picked up the bomb. Moriarty didn't stop John, He just watched John who reveal his true soul.

Sherlock's gun follow that lead, it pointed John. At that moment, John could smile, really he did. A Sociopath feel nothing, it means, Sherlock always consider the best choice. In this, Sherlock must choose the option to pull the trigger to John.

Thanks to that, John could sleep for himself.

But Sherlock didn't choose it, He found another one. and It is hunting John.

As his doctor, John is wrong.  
John pretend not to know the true cause of Insomnia. But John has known the cause of Insomnia.

The Guilty Sense of Guilt.

John still can feel and remember Sherlock's red raindrop.  
His body get colder than colder every single time. John shouted for help, cried for help. Nobody listen John's crying. Alwyas all the time, Sherlock is right. Yes, Someone who is facing death don't need crying. They need actual help and life not crying one.

The blood,  
The Sherlock's blood, Like rain, Constantly wetted John's hands with a Sociopath's blood.

John couldn't feel anything but pain. Even Sherlock saved thanks to his brother and Sherlock still stays with John, John can't run away that blood. In John's eyes, this sky, this London's red yellow sky is now bleeding.

and There is the Sherlock.

Of course, John know, he still has a life. in recently, Sherlock has tried to stop John's bleeding to say 'There is no raindrop.' He just said the word, John can feel concern he had.

How could I confess?

John speak to his heart.

To So warm sociopath, cold but soft sociopath,

Confess His guilt?  
Confess his sense of guilty?

It can't be.

John Guilt is much more darker than expectation. and that could make sociopath get bored. He always remain Loyalty John to Sherlock. In so doing, A Sociopaht consider freak his audience.

John turn away the London's sky loosing its rain. Instead of it, John looks sleeping Sherlock in sofa. might, sherlock, just closed his eye. But That dosen't matter anymore. John walkes to Sherlock. John see Sherlock's pale face

"Good night, Sherlock."

He know it doesn't fit in the morning. but he want to, say again more softly.

"Good night, Sherlock."

Like that days,  
For Sociopath,

holding John with his hands, Anyhow to save John,

John gave his sweat dream on Sherlock.  
He muttered, 'Sleep for me, Sherlock.'

John is still in insomnia. Sociopath's hear can't be allowed the sleep. Because of guilty, It just couldn't.

'Could I Sleep?' John asked himself. Impossible one. Impossible thing.

John decide not to confess his guitly.  
If he don't confess nothing, John can be sherlock's heart.

To Sherlock, John is not the needed one. but John does!  
John needs Sherlock.

Like yesterday, Today John talk to sherlock against the sleeplessness world.

Sleep for me, Sherlock.  



End file.
